So this my latest idea ...over the next couple of week I am going to chronicle my searching at setting up of my new home. I am hoping it will give me (and you) an insight into the problems with being a young single guy in this city.I mean 90% of the house owners dont want to rent their place to a single guy (they want families) and the 10% that will charges through the nose.

So my aim is to find a 2 bedroom house (minimum) within the minimum amount of money that I can spend .One huge problem with rentals in Bangalore is that you are expected to give 10 months rent as security deposit.Which is something crazy...I have a friend in boston and she was shocked when she heard this.

Now I am looking at a small place in a quiet locality but not to far from the centre of town.Want it to a relatively new house...no leaks,damp etc etc.HAS TO HAVE nice toilets . Light and airy...not too much is it? Bah you would think that I am asking for a house made of gingerbread with gold plated taps in the toilet ! People ask for absured rates for dark dingy hell holes.One guy wanted 10 grand for a house next to a graveyard in the middle of nowhere.

Anyway am looking at a house tommorow whose looks i kinda like from the outside...lets see how it goes...

Like the old Irish saying goes..."We travel hopefully"... :)

Alright no need to do the double take...so I am posting a lil more regularly...sue me :)

A bunch of people had a lot to say about my last post...about the darkness inside me.Well we all have darkness inside us...and in my opinion none of us know the truest extent of our dark selves.

However...today is not about darkness...its about the small little flame that burns bravely against all the darkness.

Also I dont know when I started this but...whenever I start doubting myself...I end up reading this :

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

For all the people who are not familiar with that...its by Rudyard Kipling.Now Kipling had very high standards...to even qualify as a man. But the words are inspiring...a lot like watchin Neo Channel where India ALWAYS wins hahahahahahaha

Yeah am back...and after a long time.The problem with me is lack of consistency rather like the Indian cricket team.I could however say that work takes it all out of me and I dont even have the energy to blog but thats crap, esp since I myself believe that if something is important enough...you will find/make time for it no matter how difficult it might be.

Which bring me to the topic of the post...how much shit are you willing to take?

Me...am tired of taking shit.Work,home,people....everyone and anyone.Maybe I am just being crabby but personally I think not.

I am invariably the nice guy who tries to adjust and that is the moot cause of all my grief.At work I ll be like...damn this needs to be done ,even though its not really my job, and then I take it upon myself to do it.I been working weekends,days,nights....literally 24/7 and the worst part is my boss asks me let it go when a stupid motherfucker of an site manager insults me.I mean I outrank this piece of shit by atleast 2 grades...however since we dont want to "jeopardize" corporate relationships...I have to let it go.Why in the name of fuck should I have to? My solution is simple....I pay your friggin bill...you do what I tell you to.Kapish? If you dont want to do what I want you to....I ll find another BPO who wants my project.Very very simple. The worst part is my boss is willing to let this arsehole hold the entire program hostage.BAH!

I moved houses...back in Jan...because my sis was supposed to leave blore for bbay.The house is an independent bunglow...with ridiculously low rent.So I jumped at the offer.Jan went...so did Feb and March..and now in April she tells me...oh I am not moving infact your brother in law is moving back to bangalore so do you think you can move out and get another place? Why in the name of fuck should I do that? I am not moving from here...I work nights...and I sleep daytime.I dont have the time and more importantly the inclination to move.You were supposed to move so get the fuck out already.

Women...bah I am so tired of them already.They keep bitching about how there are no nice guys out there...well when they find one..they make sure they fuck him up so bad that he will never be nice ever again.I need time...I need time.....well whaddya know....I needed time to use you and get back with my ex!! Or can we be friends for a while ....I need to work some issues out and then no contact for 2 months. And why should she? She got the emotional support she needed when she needed it.Now there is no fucking need for you sucker!

People will shit on you so much if you give them a chance that you can become a walking talking compost heap and when you try to assert yourself...they turn around and tell you that they dont like you anymore because you wont let them shit on you anymore.Well wake up and smell the coffee.....no one likes to be shit on.

As a conclusion....I realize that its all my fault.I dont need to be nice.You play by my rules or you find someone else to play with because I dont need shit.And being nice is asking for trouble.You get taken for granted like crazy and before you know it...you are labelled as the guy who will put up with anything.So dont put up...dont be nice.Be true to yourself...and if someone doesnt like it...fuck them. Atleast you end up happy right!